i'm surprised at how much i am [always] missing you

i'm never quite sure how to say this
[in fact, i'm never quite sure what to say]

but it usually starts out with a simple list
of ways you've reversed my mind's decay.

i'm tiny, i'm little [yet i often feel huge];

there's nothing i can remember or reason

that'll ease my worry or even soothe
the pain i inflict upon my heart of treason.

sometimes i'm low but still, i can see

my dreams grow large and exotic and daring and pure
so that every magical creature and beast
wishes it were part of this iridescent grandeur.

i cannot be had, and somehow you're not mine;

you don't understand the darkness of my soul
and i cannot behold your aching mind;

the constant turbulence devours us whole.

and somehow, in some enchanted world or way,
there's a simple peace between our throbbing, sore
hearts that thankfully forces us to give away
the demons that haunt our grieving cores.

[although we cannot be had or give ourselves up,
we can become one entity and desire
that burns like a raging, passionate, love-fueled fire]