Losing [is what she does best]

she feels like she's far too tiny
to mean anything to the world
so she trembles in her own arms
awaiting true love's execution
wondering if anything is [ever] enough
...only to discover one day
that she must fall in love with herself
before anyone else can.

i'm waiting for something bigger to move me,
so until then
i will give you my life
and the heart of my heart.
but you must break me daily,
shatter my soul
stomp on my dreams.
[only then will i be birthed anew
in pure and perfect love]

only way she knows how to stop feeling lost
is to quietly explode every night
and build herself back up
with the violent laughter
of the stars


..running from you is what my best defense is..

sometimes [lately] feeling like she's just not good enough [not smart or funny or clever or pretty or entertaining enough] for him, her husband her lover her future...

{so it's up to her to be her own love/make her own future}

"When I got tired of running from you
I stopped right there to catch my breath
There your words they caught my ears
You said, 'I miss you son; come home,'
And my sins, they watched me leave
And in my heart I so believed
The love you felt for me was more than
The love I'd wished for all this time
And when the doors were closed
I heard no I-told-so's
I said the words I knew you knew
Oh God, Oh God I needed you
God all this time I needed you
I needed you
And I so hate consequences
And running from you is what my best defense is
I hate these consequences
Because I know that I let you down
Now I don't wanna deal with that..."