i'm a hazard to myself

I'm starting to calm down,
ready to separate from my rages of madness and hate.

I'm not an angry or mean or bitter person;
in fact, I'm most often very cheery and I suppose a little sweet.
And then, randomly but most likely not as randomly as I believe it to be,
I become disenchanted with the world,
and then with life.
[am I bipolar?]
I fall from my high of happiness and curse my obsession with love;
I hit the ground hard and lose [never had?] the strength to stand up again.
I struggle.
I thrash and yell and cry hot tears of resentment.

I almost broke a vase yesterday.

I almost broke my Love yesterday.

I almost wish it were his fault,
I almost with I could cure these fits by leaving someone
or something
or by sleeping till the pain is gone
or by reading a book for inspiration
or by moving away to start life anew
or by running away.

Trouble is,
I can't escape myself,
and I am my own

[don't let me get me]

1 comment:

heyyy chloe said...

i don't have the book, but you can purchase it from books-a-million or amazon. i'm prolly going to get it soon so you could borrow it them. i love you:)