"Educational" Television

*Important things I learned from watching seasons 1 & 2 of "Hey Arnold!"
  • Never sign the pages of your diary (or else you'll spend all night in someone else's closet, waiting for a chance to get the diary back)
  • Grandmas can be super cool and suave (remember when Arnold's grandma helped him bust Lock Jaw outta the aquarium?)
  • Don't let pretty people use you (those sixth grade girls can be SO manipulative)
  • Vacant lots make great baseball fields, among other things
  • The "perfect" Saturday? No such thing...
  • Take the time to actually LEARN stuff--'cause those fancy smancy electronic devices won't always work when you need 'em to
  • Stealing = not cool
  • You and the pigeon man might not be so different from one another after all...
  • Not getting an "A" doesn't qualify for depression or pity
  • Don't mistreat your teachers, even if they're too "sensitive"--the alternative might be a butt-kicking ex-army general!
  • You're never too old to learn how to ride a bike
  • No one's life is as perfect as it may seem
  • Plagiarism = statue hauntings and nightmares
  • Think outside the game board (especially if the game is Chinese Checkers)
  • Don't believe everything--or everyone, for that matter!--you see on tv
  • Cheaters never win in the end!
  • Sacrifice = feel-g00d-deep-down feelings

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