1. Smile. Now, this is no shock, but studies do show that the amount of time you smile during a conversation has a direct impact on how friendly you’re perceived to be. Also, people mimic the expressions on the faces they see, so if you smile, you’re more likely to be smiled at. (Scientists have identified 19 types of smiles, by the way.)
2. Be easily impressed, entertained, and interested. Most people get more pleasure from wowing you with their humor and insight than from being wowed by your humor and insight.
3. Have a friendly, open, engaged demeanor. Lean toward people, nod, say “Uh-huh,” turn your body to face the other person’s body. Don’t turn your body away, cross your arms, answer in monosyllables, or scan the room (or look at your Blackberry! I have seen this happen!) as the other person talks.
4. Remember trait transfer. In “trait transfer,” whatever you say about other people influences how people see you. If you describe a co-worker as brilliant and charismatic, your acquaintance will tend to associate you with those qualities. Conversely, if you describe a co-worker as arrogant and obnoxious, those traits will stick to you. So watch what you say.
5. Laugh at yourself. Showing vulnerability and a sense of humor make you more likable and approachable. However, don’t push this too self-deprecation too far – keep it light. You’ll make others uncomfortable if you run yourself down too much. I met a guy who kept saying things like, "I'm an idiot," "I have the most boring job ever," etc. He was trying to be self-deprecating, but it was hard to know how to respond to that kind of comment from a stranger.
6. Radiate energy and good humor. Because of the phenomenon of “emotional contagion,” people catch the emotions of other people, and they prefer to catch an upbeat, energetic mood. Even if you pride yourself on your cynicism, biting humor, or general edginess, these qualities can be conveyed with warmth.
7. Show your liking for another person. We’re much more apt to like someone if we think that person likes us. Look for ways to signal that you enjoy a person’s company. When I call my daughters’ pediatrician with some health question, she always says “Hello!” as if she’s genuinely thrilled to hear from me, and I’ve really noticed what a difference it makes on my feelings of warmth toward her.
8. Try to remember the person’s name! If you can’t remember it, here are some tips for coping with the situation.
[i used this image the other day but it's so cute i thought it deserved a second appearance!]
[In love with Brian Andreas]:If I was a spider princess, she said, I would spin webs the color of sky & catch drops of sunlight to give to children w ho watch too much TV & then everyone would remember to come outside to play. If I was a spider princess, she said, things would be different.
a collection of what makes other bloggers terribly h appy:
- eating outside on the patio
- late night phone calls from far away best f riends
- back rubs from husband
- vacuum lines in the carpet
- a treat to eat during lost
- running through the sprink lers
- warm summer nights spent outside
- fresh flowers on the mantle
- discovering new cities
- post-workout burn (makes my blood feel clean
- pretending to have a british accent
- coloring outside the lines
- reading my journals from years ago, i wrote some funny things back in the day
- getting cards in the mail
- eating cotton candy
- getting caught singing my heart out in my car
- wearing husbands sweatshi rt