"Educational" Television

*Important things I learned from watching seasons 1 & 2 of "Hey Arnold!"

• Never sign the pages of your diary (or else you'll spend all night in someone else's closet, waiting for a chance to get the diary back)
• Grandmas can be super cool and suave (remember when Arnold's grandma helped him bust Lock Jaw outta the aquarium?)
• Don't let pretty people use you (those sixth grade girls can be SO manipulative)
• Vacant lots make great baseball fields, among other things
• The "perfect" Saturday? No such thing...
• Take the time to actually LEARN stuff--'cause those fancy smancy electronic devices won't always work when you need 'em to
• Stealing = not cool
• You and the pigeon man might not be so different from one another after all...
• Not getting an "A" doesn't qualify for depression or pity
• Don't mistreat your teachers, even if they're too "sensitive"--the alternative might be a butt-kicking ex-army general!
• You're never too old to learn how to ride a bike
• No one's life is as perfect as it may seem
• Plagiarism = statue hauntings and nightmares
• Think outside the game board (especially if the game is Chinese Checkers)
• Don't believe everything--or everyone, for that matter!--you see on tv
• Cheaters never win in the end!
• Sacrifice = feel-g00d-deep-down feelings